It took me a long time to accept that I don’t need outside validation for the feelings I have. My perception of events cause me to a feel a certain way. What was it that ever made me think that those feelings were NOT valid? Probably a long series of gaslighting by others throughout my life. Being assured that the version of events in my head were just that, in my head, and not reality.
But at some point, during a conversation, seeking validation for how a recent event left me feeling, I was questioned on why I didn’t trust my perception of the experience and questioned if I should feel the way I felt.
Truth is this: You’re feelings are valid, always!
What may not be valid is the reactions to those feelings.
But if you feel hurt by some experience, those feelings are valid. Being hurt may not justify lashing out or personally attacking someone, but who is to bring into question why you felt the way you did?
Today, I don’t need to tell my story to someone to have my feelings about that experience validated. I accept my feelings for exactly what they are, feelings. It takes time to process and separate the feelings from a reaction. And sometimes, subconsciously, we react before we’ve been able to process and consider the best or peaceful way to respond to a situation. But regardless of how others perceive we should feel, our feelings are indeed valid.
Quit telling your story to have others tell you that you have every reason to feel the way you do. Tell others your story to learn other/better ways to respond to how you feel. Have confidence in your experiences, and your feelings. Validation is not needed.